Why Fathers Matter

well this being Father's Day want to
talk with you a bit this morning about
why father's matter there was a time not
so long ago that it wasn't really
necessary to talk about that kind of
topic because just about everybody knew
why fathers mattered today that
increasingly is not the case because we
live in a time of tremendous social
change and that social change as it
relates to marriage in the family
surfaces in four areas in particular let
me quickly walk you through those the
first is our understanding of gender and
identity our understanding of gender and
identity now there was a time when one
of the first questions that couples
would ask when a new baby was born is it
a boy or a girl and it wasn't very hard
to tell the difference between the two
generally is speaking today that's no
longer taken for granted because we have
separated the biological sex of a child
from their gender we say the biological
sex is determined biologically but
gender that is to say how a person feels
in the inside is increasingly seen as a
social construct and so now I can have
the body of a boy but feel like a girl
inside or the body of a girl and feel
like a boy on the inside we call that
transgendered and transgendered has
really been in the news of course of
late particularly because Bruce Jenner
as you know has now become Caitlin
Jenner Bruce Jenner was a man born a man
a famous athlete in the 76 Olympics the
father by the way of six children and if
my memory serves me correctly professes
to be a Christian decided that he really
wasn't a man underwent a sex change and
that has been blasted all over the
newspapers and all over the media
generally to great acclaim we live in a
day and age of gender and identity
confusion the second area where social
change is happening at an incredible
pace is in the normalization of
homosexuality or same-sex relationships
until 1973 the American Psychiatric
Association considered homosexuality a
mental disorder for which people needed
to be treated that year under intense
pressure from homosexual activist groups
with only a fraction of the
psychiatrists present as I understand at
that meeting they change that definition
and now we live in a world where it's
not only not considered a disorder that
needs to be treated but it is now viewed
on the same level some would argue above
heterosexuality and here is a quote from
a dr. Richard I say who is a homosexual
activist and a psychoanalyst because you
and I both know that the the clock has
so turned back or forward whatever you
want to call it the times are so changed
that now the people who need to be
treated or not the homosexual folks but
they are the heterosexuals who don't
believe that homosexuality is normal
we're called wat homophobic which by the
way is a mental disorder
so here's what dr. Richard I say has to
say about that he says homophobia is the
psychological abnormality those
afflicted should be quarantined and
denied employment that's probably the
majority of us right here we live in
changing times third area where the
change is happening in today's society
of course is in the acceptance of
same-sex marriage it's in the news all
the time because if homosexual if
homosexuality is as normal as
heterosexuality then what can be wrong
with two people of the same sex or
gender getting married to each other
after all as Hillary Clinton famously
said not too long ago we need to ask
ourselves how would it feel if it were a
crime to love the person that I love and
so since 2004 beginning in Massachusetts
in the United States 2005 in Canada
same-sex marriage has increasingly
become the law of the land and as I
mentioned to you before the US Supreme
Court now is in the process of holding
hearings and are soon expected to reach
a conclusion as to whether or not
same-sex marriage is a constitutional
right that must apply to all the states
of the United States so far 37 states i
think is the figure have adopted
same-sex marriage a number of states are
holding out we live in changing times
fifty-nine percent of the US population
currently agrees with same-sex marriage
and that is double of that ten years ago
the times they are a-changin still a
fourth area and that is of course the
radical restructuring of the family
time was when most everybody understood
that at least ideally the family had a
father and a mother maybe you know
grandparents or extended family members
that was sort of the normal family unit
well today in social studies the family
is being redefined to the point where as
one researcher put it I thought this was
an interesting way of putting it he said
the majority of Americans believe that a
family that defines itself as a family
is indeed a family did you catch that a
family that defines itself as a family
is indeed a family and that means now of
course we can have two dads we can have
two moms we don't need to be married in
fact the traditional model of the family
has become extremely rare in North
American society the old definition of a
family is a father and a mother married
with one or more children that is now
less than twenty percent of the
population in the United States
troubling I think voices from the
extreme fringes of society you need to
understand one to do away with a family
all together because they see the family
as standing in opposition to their
agenda of manipulating the whole
population here's an interesting quote
comes from a journalist by the name of
Masha Gessen she made this comment at an
Australian panel discussion back in 2013
here's what she says it's a no-brainer
that the institution of marriage should
not exist fighting for gay marriage
generally involves lying about what
we're going to do with marriage when we
get there because we lie that the
institution of marriage is not going to
change and that is a lie there are
voices
the extreme who want to change
everything that you and I biblically
have taken for granted for thousands and
thousands of years and it is happening
at an unprecedented rate and most of us
sitting here this morning will know
intuitively there is something wrong
about this steamroller that is rolling
down the hill yet fact of the matter is
were hard pressed to stand against it
partly because these issues are not
foreign to us I mean it's only fair to
say that in a community this size there
are some of us who struggle with
same-sex attraction there's some of us
who struggle with the concept of
marriage there are some of us who
struggle perhaps with gender identity
issues and my experience has been that
most Christians don't have any trouble
standing for biblical truth until it
comes close to home and then being
exposed to the values that are coming at
us from society arguments that are
extremely clever potent and well phrased
and images that are ever so sentimental
tugging at the heartstrings what happens
is one after another the objections
disappear and we get sucked into the
vortex of today's society wouldn't you
agree that that's really what's
happening on many levels Tony Campolo I
mentioned him last week good case in
point what are the leading voices in the
of Angelica world for many years stood
his ground last week came out in a
public statement saying that he favors
now same-sex marriage how did his views
change the Bible hasn't changed how have
his views changed well partly because of
the nature of here
ministry committed to the last and the
lost in the least but also because it's
very close to home he's got a son who is
openly homosexual he's got a wife Peggy
who has been in favor of homosexual
marriage for a long long time and she's
introduced him to her homosexual
same-sex married couples and that
exposure has brought him to a point that
when the church excludes homosexual
same-sex marriage behavior that that
cannot possibly be right and that's why
he is bowing to the spirit of the age
and none of us I want you to know is
immune to that none of us wants to fall
into the category of being homophobic we
don't want to reject folks just because
they're struggling those are difficult
and painful issues but we also need to
know what is biblical truth and why it
is important and so the antidote to all
of this is really knowing what scripture
has to say we need biblical wisdom and
here's how the book of Proverbs puts it
in proverbs chapter two my son of you
accept my words and store my commands
within you during your ear to wisdom and
applying your heart understanding and if
you call out for insight and cry aloud
for understanding and if you look for it
is silver and search for it as for
hidden treasure then you will understand
the fear of the Lord and find the
knowledge of God for the Lord gives
wisdom and from his mouth comes
knowledge and understanding at the end
of the day we need to have God's take on
things we need to know his word and we
need to understand why these issues are
so critical to the well-being of society
and for that reason in the time that
remains this morning and probably
Lord willing next week I want to look
with you at for things that we need to
understand if we're going to be able to
have a voice to stand against the spirit
of the age and the push that is behind
the social disintegration that we see
all around us let's make a start on it
this morning we'll see how far we can
get first thing that we need to
understand I think and this ties in
directly to my father's matter there is
a God ordained order to all of creation
there is a God ordained order to all of
creation this order is revealed both in
Scripture and in nature and it applies
to all of the areas that we've just
talked about where change is happening
in today's society let me walk you
through that as quickly as I can first
of all there is a created order in the
issue of gender identity scripture is
very clear Genesis 127 God created man
in his own image in the image of God he
created him male and female he created
them we'll talk later if we have time
about why that is so important but let
it be said that in the created order God
creates both male and female in the
human race and there is a reason for
that now same thing is true in terms of
sexuality throughout Scripture
heterosexuality is taken for granted all
you have to do is put a naked male body
next to a naked female body and you see
there are parts that are men to fit
together you don't have to be too
brilliant
to figure that out and not only is
heterosexuality considered normal in
Scripture homosexuality is always seen
as unnatural there are many scripture
passages to indicate that the only way
people can get around that is to try to
make those passages say something else
then what they say and you can interpret
something whichever way that you want
but God's truth remains standing so
gender is God ordained sexuality is God
ordained and of course so his marriage
marriage wasn't a social construct that
our ancestors put together so they
wouldn't be lonely and so they could
bear children now it's a divine
institution Genesis 2 verse 24 for this
reason a man will leave his father and
his mother be united to his wife and
they will become one flesh a verse
quoted multiple times by Jesus in the
New Testament as establishing the
marital relationship they will become
one flesh and out of that comes a
biblical understanding of family and in
other word patriarchy has a lot of
negative connotations in this day and
age because people picture abusive
fathers and they picture abuse of
authority and they believe that freedom
consists of just everybody doing his own
thing that's what we're doing in society
we've never been unhappier than what we
are the Bible says the purpose of
marriage is not just for companionship
it's not just for sex it's not just for
all of the things that we associate with
marriage it's also a reflection of the
relationship of Christ with the church
and so marriage represents a covenant
relationship where the husband is to
reflect the first
Jesus who lay down his life for his
church and the wife that represents the
church who in submission to her
husband's Authority shares in his
protection and in His goodness as a lot
of you know I cover that in much more
detail in my book to have and to hold we
still have a number of such copies if
you don't have one year welcome today to
pick up a complimentary copy because we
deal with that subject in considerable
detail there is a divine order to the
created structure and when you begin to
mess with that created structure you run
stock some of you've heard me tell the
story years ago back in the farm we had
one of the early models of a Massey
Harris diesel tractor I remember it well
it was a Massey 44d most unique tractor
that I've ever seen because if you
didn't start it quite right the engine
actually had the capability of running
backwards so now you have one gear ahead
and five years backwards a lot of fun to
drive but not something we ever dare do
because we were smart enough to figure
out it probably wasn't meant to run
backwards wouldn't you think and we live
in a world where we are bowled over by
problems and we can figure out that
maybe just maybe the engine is running
backwards and we might want to submit to
biblical truth and Biblical order well
you say what about people would same-sex
attractions what about the need for love
than each for companionship to need for
yes those are huge issues but we have to
distinguish between what is the biblical
norm and what is brokenness that results
from the fall and my problem personally
is not the struggles that people have as
you know our ministry in this place is
committed to helping the last of the
lost and the least to get their lives
together by faith in Jesus we believe in
the power of the resurrected Christ who
can change the deepest
of our hearts but you cannot call what
is broken normal or what is sinful is
right without turning the whole world
upside down and that's what's happening
in a world today there is a created
biblical order remember that no your
scriptures fix them in your own mind and
don't listen to the interpretations that
try to make you believe it says
something other than what it obviously
says those who do such things referring
to the whole range of sin will not enter
the kingdom of heaven second thing we
need to understand is that good science
supports the biblical order good science
supports the biblical order notice i
said good science because one of the
reasons there are many reasons why this
train is rolling down the tracks as fast
i mean in 10 years double the number of
people in america have accepted same-sex
marriage you know how long it's taken
the anti-tobacco Lobby to convince
people that smoking is wrong that's been
a huge campaign that's been going on for
as long as I have been alive but this
campaign is just moving at a phenomenal
speed isn't it you know why many many
reasons but one reason is because people
are always throwing figures at you that
support their particular position and so
you and I through the mass media and
whatever else happens in the way
we'll are constantly being told a number
of very pertinent things here's here's
here's a smattering of them first of all
you're being told that people are born
gay that it's a genetic condition and
therefore they can't do anything about
it secondly you're being told that
because they're born that way they
indeed cannot do anything about it and
to ask them to change now in the
province of Ontario before the age of 18
has become a crime you know that as well
we're told the children ray-ray raised
by same-sex parents turn out to be every
bit as well adjusted as the children
raised by heterosexual parents and we're
told that transgendered people once they
undergo the surgery and now become
what's generally refer to strand sexual
are much happier than before that's just
this matter I mean you listen you hear
this to do you not this is coming at you
from all sides with great pressure with
great certainty it it motivates
political decisions it moves politicians
when they change the law and it changes
how the whole society sees what's
happening the question is is a good
science or not and I submit to you this
morning that if you do a careful survey
of the literature then you will discover
that on more than one occasion the
science is motivated by a political
agenda not by scientific fact despite
the people who quoted promote it and
otherwise push it a couple of quick
examples just in terms of the areas that
I was talking about first of all are
people born genetically gay back in 2010
there were two
studies that profess to find evidence of
it both of those studies have been
debunked and to date there is no known
genetic connection with a homosexual
condition you need to know that does
that mean that it's unrelated to
people's birth no the strongest evidence
and we'll talk about that later if we
have time this morning has to do with
the fact that how the brain is exposed
to hormones in the mother's womb
determines whether you lean towards
masculinity or whether you lean towards
femininity and when that gets messed up
strange things begin to happen but
between that and then the environment in
which people grow up particularly their
failure to bond in a healthy fashion
with parental figures has a lot to say
about how a person's sexual gender
develops as time goes on and of course
the more permission you have in society
to be different the more opportunity
there is to say well I think I'm
something other than what I am people go
very often with the crowd same question
about homosexuality can it be cured the
gay lobby is a hundred percent convinced
and they will try to get you convinced
that homosexuality cannot be cured the
best studies indicate that that is a
blatant lie three out of four boys who
suffer from sexual confusion before the
age of 18 turn out to be perfectly
normal heterosexual by the time they're
25 that ought to tell you something
about reparative therapy furthermore
thirty to seventy percent depending on
the nature of the therapy of people who
really want to change change under
treatment and here is a fascinating
quotation from a fellow by the name of
dr. Robert Spitzer you'll never have
heard of him but he was one of the gay
activists instrumental in 1973 in
getting the category of homosexuality
dropped as a disorder from what's known
as the DSM the psychiatric manual that
determines what's normal versus what is
not normal he's an advocate of the gay
movement but in all fairness he decided
to do a study on his own to see whether
reparative therapy actually would work
or not and so he studied 200 people in
here in his own words is his conclusion
there is evidence the change and sexual
orientation following some form of
reparative therapy does occur in some
gay men and lesbians I approach this he
said quite sceptical and I've been
convinced otherwise the gay activists
have taken the viewpoint that from a
political strategic point of view they
do better if they can convince society
at large that once you are homosexual
you can never change and I can
appreciate it that helps them
politically and I am NOT the word should
be unsympathetic towards the political
goals but I think it's just not true and
interesting that's an advocate of the
movement saying the science does not
line up with the evidence in fact the
gay activists who started this whole
ball rolling in their book after the
ball trying to get Americans to accept
the gay movement is normal point out
point blank
that even though the signs does not
agree with their position it is still
useful to promote it the way they are
promoting it because their purpose in
their estimation is the greater good
well dr. Spitzer got himself into a lot
of trouble he was harassed until the day
of his death he became persona non grata
in the movement that he himself had
originally supported and while he was
suffering under Parkinson's towards the
end of his life he wrote an apology
saying that he should have never said
that but here's the ironic thing the
science never changed and nobody ever
countered his argument the scientific
facts support the reality that lives can
change will you say what about children
living with gay couples are they not
just as well-adjusted as the children
that are raised in normal heterosexual
families and I'm sure in some instances
that can be because there's lots of
screwed-up heterosexual families as well
that turn out some really missed kids
but here's the reality listen to what
the American College of pediatricians
have said about this as recently as 2013
given the current body of evidence the
American College of pediatricians
believes I notice how strong their
language is it is inappropriate
potentially hazardous the children and
dangerously irresponsible to change the
age-old prohibition on same-sex
parenting whether by adoption foster
care or reproductive manipulation this
position is rooted in the best available
science and they quote 30 they make 36
references to scientific literary
chair that supports that position so
what about transgender surgery will
Caitlyn now be happier than when he was
Bruce well John Hopkins Hospital in the
United States has been on the forefront
of pioneering same sex or gender surgery
reassignment surgery they call at and a
fellow by the name of let me get you his
quotation here in a moment what are we
dr. Paul McHugh was chief psychiatrist
at John Hopkins has done an extensive
survey of reassignment surgery and in an
op-ed piece this past week in the Wall
Street Journal had this to say he cites
a 2011 study that followed quote 324 sex
reassigned persons from 1973 to 2003 in
Sweden it found that persons with
transsexualism after sex reassignment
have considerably higher risks for
mortality suicidal behavior and
psychiatric morbidity than the general
population and beginning about 10 years
he says after having the surgery this is
10 years later now the transgendered
began to experience increasing mental
difficulties their suicide mortality
rose almost 20 fold above the comparable
non-transgender population you get that
10 years after the fact the rate of
suicide in that population goes right
through the roof why because after
sexual reassignment surgery at first
people feel really good because now they
have the body to go with what they feel
like on the inside but you see the
unsettled conditions in the inside that
led them to this confusion hasn't been
fixed at all and so now the problem
comes back and so interestingly enough
John Hopkins Hospital one of the early
pioneers of this movement now refuses to
do sex reassignment surgery and here we
have Caitlyn Jenner blasted all over the
news as a wonderful example of how
courageous and brave this man is to fit
the outside body
to what he feels like on the inside I
don't know about you but I find it sad
and i find it tragic and love does not
mean giving in to people's brokenness
love means taking them by the hand and
pointed them to Jesus don't you think so
that's got to be the heart of the church
that's got to be our heart alright one
more thing that I want to cover which is
really what I want to get to this
morning because at the end of the day
it's not just a biblical order to
creation it's not just the realization
that there is good science that agrees
with the biblical order of things which
ought not to surprise us really but
here's the critical issue that it comes
down to and that is this ideally
children need both a father at a mother
to grow up normally now I say ideally
because we live in a broken world there
are broken families there are broken
relationships and we can talk about all
of that but the issue here is what does
the child need in order to grow up with
his inside world matching his outside
world and that is an issue that is
related to masculinity as well as
femininity masculinity and femininity
are vital principles that we need to
understand so let me take a few moments
and try to explain something to you that
most of us never think about what makes
a boy a boy or a girl girl we all have
our own ideas boys play with trucks
girls play with dolls that's said to be
very sexist in this day and age by the
way and you know girls like to get
dressed up and be freely and boys like
to beat the snot out of each other and
and all of that
kind up but one of that is cultural and
what of that is inherent in masculinity
and in femininity because you see the
social engineers of our day and age will
tell you that most of the things that we
think are proper girl behavior or proper
boy behavior in our culture are
culturally conditioned and that are not
the result of biology or inherent
characteristics well number of years ago
fellow by the name of Leon puddles wrote
what I think is one of the most profound
subjects on that topic he wrote a book
called the church impotent the
feminization of Christianity and he
started that project because he had
noted a very interesting thing he had
noted that in Judaism and in Islam the
men took the forefront in leadership but
in Christianity increasingly it became
feminized the men disappeared and the
women took over and so that led him into
whole investigation what those issues
are it's a fascinating study but in the
course of that he defines both
masculinity and femininity in ways that
I had never heard it defined before and
the more that I've thought about it the
more I cannot I can only agree about the
importance what he's talking about so
let me walk you through this for just a
moment or two he says the masculine
principle is one of separation and
differentiation separation and
differentiation I'll explain that in
just a moment the feminine principle he
says is one of communion and integration
now let me talk about those because
they're very important separation and
differentiation means that the masculine
principle is that of drawing a line in
this
and and saying this is what I stand for
and this is what I stand against and you
see it in young boys who can fight each
other till blood runs out of their noses
and they can have the toughest little
quarrel and then they'll put their arm
around each other and they'll walk back
as good friends you'll never see girls
do that you know that you'll never see a
girl do that but boys will do that you
see it in boys who do boys admire in
their social world it's the person who
stands out from the crowd I hero they
can worship a leader they can aspire to
isn't you differentiation and separation
the masculine brain is wired this
happens through chemicals in the brain
before the child is born that enables
him to focus and that enables him to
stand for whatever he is standing for
regardless of what is happening around
him feeling wise and for you wives who
can figure out how your husband doesn't
feel what you're feeling and doesn't
resonate with your pain that's one of
the reasons their brain damaged you
might as well know that absolutely true
the number of connections between the
two halves of the brain in a guy are
reduced from that of a woman so that he
can focus in ways that most women cannot
focus and so that he can be singular in
his differentiation and a separation
this is simple biology that is now
generally accepted across the board so
what about integration and communion
well it's the opposite of that the
feminine principle is that of minimizing
differences it's that of creating a safe
environment where
life can flourish and where feelings can
come to proper expression and where
where we can just be together and you
see that in the fact that women tend to
gravitate towards an intimacy and
friendship and conversations that most
men you will never find doing you'll
never see men sitting around the table
knieval gazing at the kind of
conversation that most women do that's
generalizations but we're talking about
broad spectrum patterns here you see it
in the fact that girl go to the bathroom
together you'll never see guys go to the
bathroom together and one of the
mysteries for guises why can't you pee
on your own why does it have to be with
other people and you can see it in the
fact that generally speaking a woman can
walk into a room and she'll gauge the
atmosphere in the room in a way that
most guys are completely oblivious to
and the wife will say to the husband did
you notice so and so did you see her
totally clueless because you see her
brain is wired for multitasking and she
can observe a thousand things at the
same time because in the structure of
the family that's how God has ordained
it and that's why the wiring happens the
way that it does and if you want to
pursue that in more detail I talk a lot
about that in blessings and curses
because we need to understand these
dynamics but now there's a purpose to
all of this because it is huge
implications for parenting and it has
huge implications to understand why
father's matter a couple of observations
that we need to understand about all of
this and the first of all is that both
masculinity and femininity exist in a
range they range from the
hyper-masculine to the more effeminate
and the hyper masculine feminine side to
the girly-girl over
here so over here we have the guy if if
this if this is the norm and most of the
population fits in here somewhere on the
far fringes this is your your man's man
this is the guy with a gun rack in the
back of the truck and four-wheel drive
and he has just got to go up the
mountain and turn the world upside down
and he can't figure out why everybody
else doesn't think that's great fun he's
strong but not all men are that way and
to cast masculinity as that being the
ideal is terribly confusing to somebody
else who was over on this end of the
spectrum he leans more to the feminine
so here you've got the guy who is the
artist here is the guy who understands
girls here's the guy who who just has
more of the feminine in here now the
same thing is true for women there is a
broad range in women if this is your
girlie girl over here who puts you know
who flashes her eyelids helplessly and
she could never change a tire in the
course of her life over here you've got
a woman who is a man's woman and I'll
tell you this if you see women in
leadership in today's society the ones
who succeed in a tough and tumble world
are the people who lean towards this
think Margaret Thatcher think of any of
the politicians that you know for a
woman to succeed in a man's world she
needs to lean towards the masculine in
her life which means that she either has
that by nature or she has to adopt a
persona to try to make that work in the
real world now here's a very interesting
the purpose for this is complementarity
so that in marriage a man and a woman
can adopt different roles and make for
safety in the family a man's giftedness
is of critical importance in providing
stability and security for the woman and
the children that she's going to have
now you can find interestingly enough
you can find people who are there is a
conspiracy here you can find what
happens when this kind of a woman
marries this kind of a man we all know
them the woman wears the pants the guy
has nothing to say and amazingly in some
instances the marriages work really well
but the roles are inverted he just does
everything that she says and he lets her
run the show and between the two of them
they get along perfectly fine you know
where the problem is it it's only have
kids because their kids will get
confused about the roles that are being
occupied by the parents the girl will
tend to reject her mother's bossiness if
that doesn't agree with their own makeup
the guy will be offended by the fact
that his father is a weakling and now
you start this generational cycle of
brokenness that goes on and on and on
and here's the point that I'm trying to
make for children to grow up healthy and
strong they need a good dose of the
feminine and they need a good dose of
the masculine the feminine and folds
them kisses them better allows them to
feel what they are feeling encourages
them that life is a safe in a good place
that
the role of mothers watch a mother with
a baby and you'll see how critical that
role is for the raising up of children
the purpose of the Father the purpose of
the masculine is to empower the child to
stand up and break away from the
feminine so that he or she can be their
own person stand for what is right in a
world that is filled with confusion and
so a father says I know this hurts but
you're going to do this because I'm
going to help you push through this to
come into the places where you need to
be soaked in gay couples raise good kids
you know here's the irony in some ways
they can because even in gay couples I
don't know if you understand this if we
can have the chart back up even in gay
couples the feminine principle tends to
be present and the masculine principle
tends to be present is an intern because
they talk about husband and wife which
is always weird to me because I don't
know how they decide who's the husband
or whose life and I'm not saying that to
make fun but they do that because one
leans towards the masculine the other
leans towards the feminine and to the
degree to which they do they can
actually do some pretty good stuff with
the kids but there's a problem because
the biological doesn't match up with the
emotional it leads to confusion and
that's why we now have a society in
which children are desperately confused
and I don't know if you read the news
story just this past week there is a
case in the oakville burlington area
where a divorced or separated couple is
fighting for custody over their
five-year-old child the five-year-old
child is
biologically a boy the mother thinks
that he's really a girl and she dresses
him in girl clothes to send him to
school because you see the little boy
has said he likes long hair and he sees
that girls have long hair and so there's
some interest in being a girl his father
thinks that he's a boy and the father
sends him to school as a boy in fact
father and son with the sons permission
had a bonfire to burn his girl clothes
now you can imagine what kind of tension
this causes over this little kid saw cas
steps in and cas takes the child away
from the mother the mother takes at the
court and what does the judge say the
judge says the child shouldn't have been
taken away from the mother and the judge
says the parents ought to just let the
boy grow up without reference to gender
to see where he is going as he grows up
in the course of his life that is the
society that we live here and you and I
what's our responsibility our
responsibility as men and women is to
embrace our femininity and our
masculinity recognize what is the normal
range because beyond the normal range
there is also brokenness you know the
guy over here who has been bullied may
well be the boss for all the wrong
reasons and the girl who is the butch
over here may be the butch not because
this is where her natural range lies but
because because she's been abused and
she has said I'm never going to be
vulnerable and I'm never going to allow
my weaknesses to show and the challenge
for you and me is regardless of our
history in Christ is to recognize okay
this is who God has made me to be
these are areas of my life where I'm
broken that God needs to fix but I'm
committed to be the mother that God is
calling me to be and I'm committed to be
the man the father that God is calling
me to be because this is a day and age
for mentors up and to say father's
matter because father's call forth their
children and in calling for their
children enable their children to know
who they are what they stand for what
their values are and they know how to
fight evil in the world for the glory of
you