Absalom My Son My Son

we've been looking together for some
time now as you will recall at the life
of David and we know that David is
called a man after God's own heart by
God himself and as we've seen in the
past the reason for that is not that he
was so morally upright or so clean and
pure but rather because he not only
understood but embraced passionately
God's redemptive purposes for the people
of Israel David understood that when God
entered into covenant with Abraham he
promised him a land he promised him a
mighty nation he promised to bless him
and he promised to make him a blessing
and throughout his life and throughout
his kingship with rare exception he
applied himself wholeheartedly to that
task of putting God first the place
where he wavered I believe is in
connection with his family relationships
and none more so than his relationship
with his son Absalom and we have
recorded for us in second samuel 1833
one of the most painful laments on the
pages of Scripture this is after david
receives the report that his son Absalom
has been killed and the scripture says
he went to his room over the gateway and
he wept and as he went he said o my son
Absalom my son my son Absalom if only I
had died instead of you all Absalom my
son let's take a moment review the
backstory I'm sure you will recall that
David as did many of the Kings in his
days of course had multiple wives and
when you have multiple wives you
multiple families and one of the sons
born to one of his wives was a very
charismatic individual called Absalom
famous particularly for his wonderful
head of hair when he cut it periodically
it weighed 5 pounds and as you might
recall hair as we'll see later on played
a very significant part of the story
well Absalom must have had some good
family genes because he had a sister
called Tamar who was also exceptionally
beautiful they were fond of each other
but in the course of time there was an
other one of his half-brothers by the
name of em none who took a shine to
Tamar and by ruse invited her into his
house where he proceeded to rape her
then he was overcome by anger and guilt
and threw her out of the house and her
life was effectively ruined David when
he heard the story was absolutely
furious but there's no record that he
actually ever did anything about it
equally furious was Absalom but he kept
it within his heart looking for an
opportunity to get even that opportunity
came two years later when he threw a
party invited all his half-brothers to
the party and when he saw an opportunity
he had his henchmen assassinated eminen
David was extremely upset and epsilon as
you could imagine had to leave the
country which he did for three years but
eventually David's anger began to die
down and through the mediation of Joab
David's commander you will recall
epsilon was brought back captain
isolation for another two years but
eventually was restored to our
relationship with his father David
but Absalom was an ambitious man he was
a devious man and he hit as I sat on the
throne of Israel and so after winning
the popularity of the people he mounted
an armed rebellion you will recall and
in the course of that rebellion David
and his men had to flee from Jerusalem
like common criminals and were it not
for the fact that Absalom chose to
ignore the counsel of a hit ofall who
had counselled pursue David while you
David would have lost the battle would
have lost his life would have lost the
kingdom but the Lord turned a hitter
phils advice to foolishness in the
battle that ensued between absalom's
troops and David's troops absolutes
troops were desperately defeated and as
you know the story and tragically and
comically in some ways with Absalom
fleeing on his donkey and his wonderful
hair became his undoing got caught up in
commanded pleaded that they would treat
Absalom his son with gentleness Joab was
of no mind to do so took three Spears
stuck it through his heart hid his men I
cut him down from the tree made sure he
was dead threw him under a bunch of
rocks and that was the end of Absalom
and his rebellion messengers were then
sent to david and the words of our text
give us again the the response of David
the king was shaken he went up to the
room over the Gateway and he wept and as
he went he said o my son Absalom my son
Absalom if only I had died instead of
you o Absalom my son
tragic lament over the death of his son
now there's a lot of people who think
this is a marvelous example of a father
grieving for his son and grieve he did
but there are two things about Absalom
that we need to remember before we just
attribute a good motivation to David in
grieving for his son number one Absalom
was a rebellious son he rebelled against
his father and what did the law of Moses
command in the Old Testament needed to
happen to a rebellious son anybody
remember you dragged him to the elders
and when the elders find that he is
indeed a rebel without a cause then he
gets stoned because God does not want
rebellion among his people interested
into a side note there were scandalized
by that of course because we place so
much emphasis on on individual happiness
and well-being but from God's
perspective at stake was the well-being
of the kingdom and just like a surgeon
will not tolerate cancer because he
knows it's going to kill the body so Old
Testament Israel under its laws had to
get rid of whatever stood in the way of
God getting what he wanted in terms of
his people he was not only a rebel
against his father however but remember
that he was also trying to unseat his
Father's throne and so he was equally a
rebel against God God just in case you
have never caught on not very happy with
rebels these words applied to King Saul
earlier in second
1 Samuel Chapter 15 rebellion is like
the sin of divination or witchcraft in
some versions and arrogance like the
evil of idolatry epsilon wasn't
interested in the kingdom of God wasn't
interested in seeing the promises of God
made to Abraham fulfilled wasn't
interested in seeing God establish his
people it was all about Absalom and I
can say that without any hesitation
because second Samuel 18 verse 18 tells
us that he built a pillar to himself so
that his name would not be forgotten
shades of King Saul before him and so
while it's perfectly natural then the
David should grieve over the loss of his
son the reality is that Absalom stood
over against the purposes of God and
David should have stood with God and
with the purposes of God over against
his rebellious son and interestingly
enough it is Joab who is not known for
his great spirituality who gets it right
because when Joab comes back and he
hears that the king was weeping and
mourning for Absalom this is verse 9
chapter 19 and for the whole army the
victory of the day was turned into
mourning because on that day the troops
heard it said the king is grieving for
his son the men stole into the city that
day as men steal in who are ashamed when
they flee from battle the King covered
his face and cried aloud o my son
Absalom o Absalom my son my son now
listen to how the story plays out that
Joe had went into the house the king and
said today you have humiliate
at all your men who have just saved your
life and the lives of your sons and
daughters and the lives of your wives
and concubines you love those who hate
you and hate those who love you you have
made it clear today that the commanders
and their men mean nothing to you I see
that you would have been pleased if
Absalom were alive today and all of us
were dead now go out and encourage your
men I swear by the Lord that if you
don't go out not a man will be left with
you by nightfall this will be worse for
you than all the calamities that have
Joab got through to him because verse 8
says the King got up took a seat in the
gateway and when the men were told the
king is sitting in the gateway they all
came before him quite a story don't you
think so what do we learn from a story
like this I suggest at least three
lessons number one sometimes the
greatest challenge to our faith comes
from those who are closest to us
sometimes the greatest challenge to our
faith comes from those who are closest
to us Jesus when he teaches on
discipleship he quotes the Old Testament
prophet Micah and he says a man's
enemies will be the members of his own
household the reason for that's not hard
to figure out because all relationships
but especially family relationships are
an interesting tangled web of loyalty
and expectation and demand husbands and
wives
friends family members how do
relationship survive well they survive
on give intake you have a certain
opinion you expect me to bow to that
opinion you want to do certain things
you want me to go along with those
things at least periodically and vice
versa relationships are mutually
interdependent they go back and forth
but what happens what happens when what
my closest relative is looking for from
me is it odds with what God is looking
for from me that's where the conflict
begins to happen somebody was telling me
just this past week about a relative a
church-going relative whose daughter
previously presumably a church-going
daughter is slated to marry an atheist
and the mother is in favor of the union
because he's such a nice boy and you say
to yourself isn't somebody missing
something here in terms of what it is to
be a disciple of Jesus you see whenever
there is a conflict of loyalties the
Lord is looking and we'll talk more
about that in a moment he's looking at
our loyalty exceeding all other
loyalties and sometimes the greatest
enemy is those who are closest to us
because we've been to accommodate their
wishes and their desires and that is of
course why Scripture place is such a
very important emphasis
is on not being unequally yoked and the
image is that of two animals pulling a
load together and you have let's say an
ox over here and you have a horse over
here and you're trying to make these
walk intend them with each other pulling
the load it will never work because they
go off in different directions and
that's true in marriage that's true in
friendship that's true in business that
is true in virtually every imaginable
relationship can two walk together
scripture unless they be agreed and the
only reason that it often seems to work
for people who are church-going folk is
because either the unbeliever slings
over to the believer side or more
commonly what ends up happening is the
Christian ends up compromising his or
her values in order to preserve peace
and tranquility in the relationship
sometimes the greatest challenge to our
faith are those who are closest to us
second lesson I've alluded to that
already but a very important one is that
the Lord demands to be our first
priority in all relationships the Lord
demands that our relationship with him
supersedes any and all other
relationship listen to how Paul puts it
second Corinthians chapter 11 he says I
am jealous for you with a godly jealousy
I promised you to the one husband to
Christ so that I might present you as a
pure virgin to him but I'm afraid that
just as Eve was deceived by the
Serpent's cunning your minds may somehow
be led away are led astray from sin from
yours
seer and pure devotion to Christ and
what Paul is saying there is that just
as a bride gives up all other
relationships to belong to her husband
into him alone and vice versa so to be a
Christian is to have our ultimate single
devotion and loyalty to jesus himself
and every other relationship must take a
second place to the calling of God on
our lives Jesus puts it this way Luke
chapter 14 I'm sure you know this
passage he says if anyone comes to me
and does not hate his father and his
mother his wife and children his
brothers and sisters yes even his own
life he cannot be he cannot be my
disciple now that's strong language and
of course he doesn't mean that we
literally have to hate father mother and
brother and sister that's quite contrary
to what the rest of Scripture teaches
but what he does mean is that we hate
and we have to hate any demand that
anyone makes on us if that is at odds
with God's demands on our lives we must
care more about what God values and what
he thinks then we do about our closest
relationship now think that through
because I can tell you I've known all
kinds of people over the years who have
lost their first love for Jesus because
their wife or their husband or their
sons or their daughters were not
prepared to submit to the authority and
the lordship of Jesus I can think of two
samples of this principle in Scripture
that are really remarkable in the first
is the story of the Levites in Exodus
chapter 32 perhaps you'll remember that
story moses was up in the mountain he
didn't come back in any big hurry was
gone for what 40 days and the people got
restless and they said to Aaron we want
you to make us a god and he bent to
their wishes as you know and as he
explains it later on to Moses that I
love his explanation we threw the gold
into the fire and out came this calf
really just a very very remarkable fire
but you'll recall that Moses was
incensed because at Sinai they had just
entered into covenant with god this is
like the girl who on her honeymoon felt
this true story fell in love with
another guy left her bridegroom to take
off with his guy and when she was
confronted by it she said sometimes you
just have to do what your heart wants to
do which was quite see a little
explanation ah this is what his role is
doing and and and Moses knows that they
are running the risk of God's judgment
so what does he do he says anybody out
here who was on the Lord side step
forward and you may recall that that the
sons of Levi out to a man stepped
forward and then he said all right
here's what I want you to do I want you
to take your sword each man strapped a
sword to his side go back and forth
through the camp from one end to another
each killing his brother and friend and
neighbor imagine that how do you feel
about that the Levites did is Moses
commanded and that day about 3,000 of
the people died and then Moses said you
have been set apart to the Lord today
for you are against your own sons and
bro
others and he has blessed you this day
jesus said unless you hate father and
mother and brother and sister you cannot
be my disciple and if you know the story
then that is how the Levites came to be
the priestly assistance of the
tabernacle they never received an
inheritance in the land because they
were totally dedicated to the service of
God because of their loyalty one other
example this one from the New Testament
the wedding at Cana you know that story
John's Gospel tells us it's the first
sign of the Jesus did when he changed
the water into wine in the background
there is that as they were running out
of wine his mother comes to him and says
to him they're running out of wine and
who remembers the response of Jesus well
the NIV says dear woman why do you
involve me jesus replied my time has not
yet come now I've looked more closely to
that in the Greek and it's not half as
charitable as the NIV translation makes
that sound first of all there is no dear
to the woman I don't quite understand
somebody must have wanted to tone that
down then he says and literally he says
this what does this have to do with you
and me what does this have to do with
you and me and what's his point well
here's this point he was no longer
mama's boy and he was no longer under
the control of his mom while meaning
though she might be he now was committed
to his mission and his priority was to
listen to his father's instruction his
time had not yet
Tom now his mother you know quite
clearly took it in stride and told
everybody make sure you listen to him
but the point that is established is
this we cannot serve two masters we must
put God's Authority in God's will for
our lives ahead of the dearest
relationship that we have which again is
why it's so important to be equally
yoked because if you are unequally yoked
you will fight every step of the way
you'll want to go to church as possible
wanna stay home you want your kids to go
to Sunday school or Christian education
and your husband wants to buy them
snowmobiles or the other way around it
just goes on and on and on and you see
the tragedy of that every which way you
look some of you heard my story in this
regard when I was at my last year in
college and we ran into this whole group
of latter-day saints reorganized
latter-day saints who had a lot of the
spiritual gifts and the spiritual
vitality that my friends and I were
looking for at that time but they were
also adherence to the Book of Mormon and
another book called doctrine and
covenants and in our conversations with
them they kept on telling us that we had
to just ask the Lord because that's what
Mormons do ask him to give you a witness
in your heart about the truth of
Mormonism and some of you know that
started me off in a whole study of
comparative religion and ultimately and
ended up with me being in what I call
that the dark night of the soul where my
faith almost completely went out of the
window for season but in the middle of
that I remember thinking you know I'm
I've committed myself to follow in the
Lord what if Mormonism
is true what if this is where God is
leading me in my future and you know my
big question was what will my father
think because my father in his youth had
been really had a leaning towards being
a pastor never had the opportunity I've
still out told me the story before my
mother had wanted to be a physician
never had the opportunity skip a
generation my younger brother becomes a
physician and I end up becoming a pastor
not because the pressure put on us but I
think because the anointing passed from
one generation to another but I remember
struggling with that whole question if
this is where I'm going at this stage in
my life what in the world is he going to
think or what is he going to say I
remember having to come to that place
where I said though none go with me
still I will follow now thank God you
know that wasn't the path that I was led
one but I didn't know that at the time
and I had to authentically struggle with
that and if you've ever been in a place
where you have incurred the disapproval
or the wrath or the dislike of those you
love and who are close to you you will
know the price that you need to pay in
order to follow Jesus and remember he
says you cannot be my disciple if you're
not prepared to make that commitment we
list this up here as sort of the epitome
of spiritual maturity and you know only
some of us make it up hate to tell you
this but Jesus starts with it it's like
the ground floor of what it is to follow
Jesus aren't it glad you came tonight
and you know have such good news
preached to you well there's a third
lesson first lesson is sometimes you
know those closest to you are your
biggest obstacle to faith number two
Jesus claims the ultimate priority of
our hearts he will not settle for second
best there's the third lesson and that
is that we need to think in terms of
eternal destinies there's a school of
thought that believes that David was so
upset in this passage because he knew
that his son was lost eater dying and
that may or may not be true I say may or
may not because the Old Testament Saints
didn't have much understanding about the
life that is to come that's a revelation
that comes historically as time goes on
there are some allusions to it here and
there in the Old Testament at David in
Psalm 16 talks about his body not seeing
corruption and the New Testament uses
that to demonstrate that that refers to
Jesus Daniel talks about eternal life
but very very few references that said
from a New Testament point of view we
know that unless a person is justified
by faith in Christ they will not enter
the kingdom of God scripture is
categorically clear on that Matthew 25
41 talks about the sheep and the goats
being gathered before the Lord on that
final day of judgment and and Jesus
quotes the judge is saying he will say
to those on his left depart from me you
who are cursed into the eternal fire
prepared for the devil and his angels
the equivalent is he will say to those
on his right come blessed of my father
inherit the kingdom prepared for you
from before the foundation of the world
when history ends you're either in or
you're out there is nothing in between
the book of Revelation makes it very
clear as well revelation 2015 if
anyone's name was not found written in
the book of life he was thrown into the
lake of fire now what that means with
regard to what we're talking about is
that no matter how much we love somebody
whether that's a spouse son or a
daughter a friend or a neighbor much as
we leave it a day and age where
everybody thinks they're going to go to
heaven if there is a heaven I mean that
is the most odd thing to me in all of
the world most people don't believe in
heaven but if there is a heaven they
know they and their loved ones are going
back the reality of Scripture is
otherwise the reality of Scripture is
that unless we yield to the authority
Jesus believe in him and demonstrate the
reality of that in a life of repentance
and faith we're just not going to make
it or not going to make an and that
really hits home if you have a son or a
daughter like David in this story a
spouse I relative a friend who continues
to walk in rebellion against God and who
if he or she persists in that period of
rebellion is going to end up in the lake
of fire rather than in the restored
Kingdom the only reason we are not more
exercised over people in that canoe
Shin is because we don't love them
enough with a love of gone to confront
them with the truth because again the
reality is we live in a world where we
just put that all on hold and assume
that one way or another well every
prodigal will find their way back many
do but not all dear and if you and I
understand this story and understand the
issues that we've been talking about
then at the very least we must carry the
prodigal Xin our hearts the very least
we must pray for God to have mercy and
Pring bring people back to faith and we
must do what we can do to warn them
about the path of destruction that
they're on David had a soft spot for his
children and I would guess that it comes
from his own unresolved family issues he
lost moral authority and he was not able
to come down hard on Absalom when he
should have because he knew there was
too much in his own background that got
in the way you will recall that the
Prophet said to him after his affair
with Bathsheba a sword will not leave
your house and this is the fulfillment
of those decisions that he made at jet
Hoeven talked about that in passing this
morning so two things to end with number
one how urgently important it is for you
and me to deal with our stuff so that we
can speak from a position of authority
rather than having to cower because
somebody's got something on us and we
don't know how to stand up because we
have lost the moral high ground but then
secondly how urgent how urgent that we
have a heart for sons and daughters for
family and friends for neighbors who
don't know Jesus and how we cry out for
you