Missing the Blessing

well we've been talking the last couple
of weeks about the importance of
particularly a father's blessing and how
fathers especially call forth their
children into the plan and the purpose
that God has for their lives and
interestingly enough at our staff
meeting this past Tuesday Dave chaired
Dave bonding shared with us an article
from last sunday's paper about the
author jean little don't know if you
know her she is one of Canada's premier
children's authors she has written over
50 children's books she is a Christian
she is partly cited having been born
technically legally blind as they define
that but in a speech on July seventeenth
in connection with this whole writers
thing that they have in Toronto she told
a little bit about how she came to be a
writer and it ties in directly with what
we've been talking about allow me to
take a moment or two this morning and
read you what she says about herself she
says when I was 11 dad was home on leave
from serving as a doctor in the Navy
being the daughter of two busy doctors
her parents were medical missionaries to
Taiwan with the United Church and second
eldest of four children I was always
fighting to get more attention that day
I found him sitting by himself reading
the newspaper and I was overjoyed dad
would you like me to sing for you I
asked no thank you he said continuing to
read but disappointed but sure that he
would respond with more interests if I
persevered I asked would you like me to
dance for you he didn't even lower the
paper no he said later mother
us to tell me sternly sternly the
interrupting someone who was reading was
equally rude as interrupting two people
having a conversation but I had yet to
be told this I gave up though I can
still remember wandering upstairs and
standing gazing out my bedroom window
with the sunset there was one
flame-colored streak of cloud and I
suddenly saw it was like a banner
remember her vision was limited I turned
to my table and for the first time in my
life I wrote a poem orange flags are
flying no overhanging gray dims the rosy
sunset and so on the Rhymes and rhythm
were fine but the tenses were badly
confused I didn't stop to polish I had
it finished and a half hour or so when I
went back downstairs my father was still
reading his newspaper dad I said without
much hope I wrote a poem I waited to be
squelched again but instead here came
the moment I changed my life here came
the moment I changed my life my father
dropped the paper he actually at the
sheetz fly to the floor a poem he said
holding out his hand for the piece of
paper I was clutching let me see it and
as I stood transfixed watching him read
and reread my lines I realized that he
was deeply pleased with me what I had
written excited him he had not shown any
interest in my singing or dancing but
backtrack although I had entered that
room a disconsolate eleven-year-old I
left it in knowing myself to be apart
and she goes on to say then how her
father bought her her typewriter and
rhyming dictionary and a thesaurus
and the writers market and how that in
fact launched her into her now
celebrated writing career an interesting
story that's the power of a father's
blessing what would have happened if he
had continued reading his paper and
disregarded her literary ability that's
what I want to talk about together this
morning because even as we talk about
the blessing what about those of us who
have not received a blessing because
isn't it true that the more we talk
about the power of the blessing the more
alive we become in Christ the more aware
we become sometimes of those places in
our lives where we feel that we have
been robbed of blessing and that brings
us back this morning then again to the
story of Esau Esau whose cry father
bless me bless even me continues to echo
throughout the generations as an example
of a blessing that has been stolen so
let's take a few moments together this
morning read a portion of that story
from Genesis chapter 27 and then we'll
talk about that together a little bit
the backdrop here is this jacob has just
stolen the blessing of the firstborn and
that's where we pick it up at verse 27
or verse 30 rather of Genesis chapter 27
after Isaac had finished blessing him
and Jacob scarcely left his father's
presence his brother Esau came in from
hunting he too prepared some tasty food
and brought it to his father then he
said to him my father sit up and eat
some of my games so that you may give me
your blessing his father Isaac asked him
who
are you I am your son he answered your
first board he saw Isaac trembled
violently and said who was it then that
hunted game and brought it to me I ate
it just before you came and I blessed
him and indeed he will be blessed when
Isaac heard his father's words he burst
out with a loud and bitter cry and said
to his father bless me me to my father
but he said your brother came
deceitfully and took your blessing Esau
said isn't he rightly named Jacob he has
deceived me these two times he took my
birthright and now he's taken my
blessing then he asked haven't you
reserved any blessing for me Isaac
answered he saw I have made him lord
over you and have made all his relatives
his servants and I have sustained him
with grain and new wine so what can I
possibly do for you my son Esau said to
his father do you have only one blessing
my father bless me to my father then
Esau wept aloud his father Isaac
answered him your blessing will be away
from the Earth's richness away from the
dew of heaven above you will live by the
sword and you will serve your brother
but when you grow restless you will
throw his yoke from off your neck Esau
held a grudge against Jacob because of
the of the blessing his father had given
him he said to himself the days of
mourning for my father are near then I
what a story Lord and how close these
biblical stories are to our own lives if
and when we are honest with ourselves
and observe the dynamics of life here on
the face of the earth we pray this
morning that as we talk about that story
a little bit and is eventually we seek
to apply it to our own lives that Lord
you will always point us to Jesus the
author and the finisher of our faith
that you will always show us again and
again that even though father or mother
forsake me the Lord in covenant
relationship by faith in Jesus will take
us up and he has reserved for us the
unsearchable riches of his glory and
kindness in Christ Jesus our Lord so
blessed this time together give me the
words that I need in Lord all of us
hearts to connect with this story and
allow you to transform into change our
lives so that more and more we can be
people who can live out of the fullness
of having more than enough because of
Jesus we ask it in his name and for his
glory amen well the story of Esau that
we have just read together is a
complicated story and it's complicated
for four reasons allow me to run these
by you as quickly as I can this morning
the first reason this story is
complicated is because it involves
divining election if you go back a
couple of chapters in the book of
Genesis you discover that after Rebecca
and Isaac were married they were unable
to have children they were unable to
have children for 20 years Isaac prayed
that she might conceive and when she did
shortly thereafter there was turmoil in
her tummy so much so that she went to
the law
to ask him what was going on and the
Lord revealed to her two nations are in
your womb two peoples from within you
will be separated one people will be
stronger than the other and the older
will serve the younger the older will
serve the younger when the children were
born who was born first he saw Jacob was
born second holding on to his heel and
that plays a significant role in the
story so what God says to Rebecca is
that he never intended for Esau to get
the blessing of the first board the
blessing of the firstborn which
represented the blessing of Abraham was
going to go to the second born that's a
principle by the way that runs
throughout Scripture because God is
always trying to establish that
salvation his blessings are by grace
through faith they're not something you
have a right to by virtue of your
natural position and so later on the
Prophet Malachi picks up on this Malachi
one the verses 2 and 3 God says I have
loved Jacob but I have hated esau Jacob
here represents the nation of Israel he
saw he represents the nation of Edom
which are his descendants and Malachi is
saying i have chosen israel to be my
people i have not chosen Jake earth
Esau's descendants to be my people Paul
if you know the New Testament picks up
on this at Romans chapter 9 11 12 and 13
talking about divine election he says
before the twins were born noticed this
or had done anything good or bad in
order that God's purpose in election
might stand not by works by him who
called she was
old she being Rebecca the older will
serve the younger just as it is written
and that's the quotation from Malachi
Jacob I loved but Esau I hate it
election is a complicated subject we
don't have time to go into it but
understand that part of the dynamics in
this story are the issue of divine
election God chose Jacob to be the heir
to Abraham's promises not Esau now that
being so the second element in this
story that makes it complicated is that
Esau rejected his birthright and that of
course is part of the narrative that
almost every Sunday school child knows
the story of how Esau went out hunting
came back absolutely famished Jacob who
was a homebody was cooking himself up a
a stew of lentils Esau took a look at it
and he said I want some of that but
remember Jacob's name means supplanter
he was born holding on to his brothers
heel he had really wanted to be the
first boy and he shrewdly saw his
opportunity and he said I'll tell you
what let's make a deal I'll give you
some of this food you sell me your
birthright ehsaas response was I'm
famished what youth is my birthright to
me and so he swore to sell his
birthright to jacob for a bowl of
pottage or lentil stew and that part of
the narrative then ends with these these
profound words in verse 34 of Genesis 25
and so II saw despised his birthright
now understand the implications of that
the birthright was the promised
blessings of Abraham that he could be
the covenant people of God and he would
eventually inherit a new heaven and a
new earth Esau was the quintessential
worldly man he lived for worldly passion
he lived for worldly goods he wanted
worldly success and his worldly hunger
trumped the desire for the kingdom of
God that would be like you and me giving
up serving God coming to church
following the Lord Jesus simply because
we wanted to be something by worldly
measures and how many people haven't you
known over the years how many of our own
offspring in this place haven't sold
their spiritual birthright for a bowl of
lentil steer the book of Hebrews says
later he regretted it with bitter tears
but it could not be undone so Esau
rejected his birthright it was his own
deliberate choice third element that
makes this story complicated is that
Isaac in wanting to bless Esau first
blatantly disobeyed god it is i believe
inconceivable that Isaac did not know
the promise of God to his wife Rebecca
that the elder son would serve the
younger yet deliberately when he thinks
he is dying he calls in his oldest son
Esau because he wants to give him the
blessing of the firstborn why because he
loved he saw more than he loved Jacob
the narrative makes that plane Rebecca
loved Jacob
Isaac loved he saw a bit of a family
dysfunction there just for the record
but why did he love Esau because the
Bible says he loved Esau because he
loved the wild game that Esau would hunt
for and feed him so Isaac's own appetite
for fine food made him use his natural
preferences and his like for Esau to
negate the promises of God do you
understand that that's serious business
falls right into that category where
Jesus says later on unless you hate
father mother brother or sister you
cannot be my disciple there's nothing
wrong with loving your kids but you must
not love your kids over God or over
God's purposes and so Isaac sinned
blatantly in trying to bless Esau first
the fourth area then where this story
gets terribly complicated is that
Rebecca and Jacob conspired to take
matters into their own hands when you
read the narrative Rebecca's a bit of an
eavesdropper she overheard this deal
that Isaac was making with Esau and she
says oh my goodness this is going the
wrong way I need to help the Lord along
and you know the story she she recruited
Jacob and she said to Jacob quick go get
me a couple of little goats from the
flock I'll cook them up in such a way as
we know that your father likes them and
then you take that meal and presented to
your father's pretending to be Esau and
Jacob was smart enough to say it's not
going to work because
is Esau is Harry and I'm not the name he
saw means red because he was born hair
all over his body well Rebecca wasn't
born yesterday she said we'll take some
skins put it around the exposed parts of
your body and then when he feels your
skin he will know that you are Esau and
Jacob was also smart enough to say well
if my father finds out he's going to
curse me instead of bless me and she
says well I'll take the curse you just
go ahead and do this so they conspired
to pull off this deal and sure enough
Isaac is deceived and blesses a Jacob
with a blessing of the first board and
that's how Jacob ends up with that
firstborn blessing as opposed to Esau I
don't know about you but I find that a
fascinating story and I find it a
fascinating story because it illustrates
the fascinating interplay between human
responsibility and divine sovereignty
doesn't it and that's an interaction
that you and I will have a hard time
getting our heads around because we live
in time and space and God does not
understand God does not approve of the
shenanigans of the human race but he can
also beat an incredibly straight path
with a very crooked stick and so despite
people's disobedience and very human
predilections God nevertheless
accomplishes his purposes and Jacob gets
the blessing of Abraham and Esau doesn't
want and the rest of biblical history if
you're eating on goes on to illustrate
that tension between these two brothers
that had started already in the womb
there was a constant conflict between
the nation of Edom in the nation of
edem repeatedly rebelled repeatedly got
subdued and in the end Israel becomes
the heir of God's promises now all of
that said doesn't change the fact that
II saw as the firstborn ends up pulling
on the short end of the stick doesn't he
he missed the primary blessing that his
father had wanted to give him and we
know by now that that can play quite a
number in a person's life and so on the
time that remains this morning I want to
go through the rest of the story with
you that we read and look at three
reactions that I ESO experienced because
he had been cheated out of the blessing
of the firstborn here's the first he
experienced deep anguish verse 34 when
he saw heard his father's words he burst
out with a loud and bitter cry and said
to his father bless me me to my father
verse 38 ESO said to his father do you
have only one blessing my father bless
me to my father then Esau wept aloud
here's a man who was torn up on the
inside because he is not getting that
blessing that he expected from his
father now remember here's a man who had
sold his birthright for a bowl of lentil
still he favored earthly good over
eternal blessings this was
not a man who was looking to follow in
the footsteps of father Abraham he was
more than content to live in this world
and to use the power of force and
whatever else it was that he needed to
carve out a good life for himself
without the blessings of God but what it
illustrates I think is how even worldly
people in their heart of hearts long for
the blessing of their father and when
that blessing is denied there is an
incredibly deep pain and anguish that
most people spend the rest of their
lawyers trying to resolve and feel Rick
folds talked to me after the service
last week and he related a story that
just really illustrates the vacuum that
is being created in people's lives for
lack of attachment relationships with
their parents he and Mary Lynn had been
up in campbellford they were supposed to
lead a meeting with the youth but all
the youth went off to a dance and so
they ended up with the younger children
shared gospel stories with him some of
the children came to faith but then as I
just sort of a closing exercise they
invited all the children to come up if
they wanted to for a big hug so we all
lined up all came up for a hug but what
really surprised rick and mary lynn that
when the kids had received their hug
they went back to the end of the line to
come through for a second hug and I said
isn't that fascinating because it
illustrates the love deficit in the
lives of so many people today
and you know it's not only the children
who are suffering a love deficit in this
day and age one of the parties that is
now the rage over in the United Kingdom
is called a cuddle party anybody hear
hear of cuddle parties apparently been
imported from the united states but it's
the rage in england for a hundred pounds
now 135 canadian dollars after brexit
the bargain used to cost you 152
canadian dollars but the pound has been
dropping precipitously for a hundred
towns you can sign up for a 40-minute
hugging session with two strangers for a
thousand dollars you become a cuddling
party facilitator it's non-sexual it's
carefully supervised here is a picture
of what these parties might look like
there you go that worth a hundred pounds
or 130 bucks well it all depends on how
lonely you are and how you crave do you
understand what we're facing in the
world we're facing a love deficit of
unprecedented proportions enough for
people to sign up and do this with
complete strangers Esau had incredible
anguish but English doesn't usually stay
as anguish for very long does it I saw
now becomes angry to the point of
wanting to kill his brother listen again
to the narrative Esau said isn't he
rightly named Jacob again Jake
means deceiver or supplanter born
holding on to his brother's foot he has
deceived me these two times he he hasn't
forgotten the bargain that he drove
earlier he took my birthright and now
he's taken my blessing verse 41 esau
held a grudge against Jacob because of
the blessing his father had given him he
said to himself the days of mourning for
my father are near then I will kill my
brother Jacob let me pause here a moment
do you know how old these two lads were
when all of this was transpiring you
think of them as youngsters don't you
they were 70 years old and if that isn't
enough remember Isaac thought he was
dying you know how much longer he lived
after he thought he was dying another 50
years 50 years and so II saw had to wait
a long time before he could kill his
brother but what it illustrates is that
anguish doesn't remain anguish very long
it leads to anger and anger almost
inevitably will lead to the urge to kill
meeeee don't know this morning if you've
ever found yourself in a situation where
you felt yourself unjustly treated
rather by a parent a teacher colleague
at work or a church if you have ever
felt yourself unjustly treated and if
you ever felt God pulled in the
situation to enforce the injustice than
you will know what anger is because
there is no more primal anger in the
world then the anger of I'm not wanted
I don't belong there is no place for me
remember when Neil Campbell was here he
said one of the first questions at
conception of an infant is am I wanted
the second big question is will the
world be a safe place for me and to
discover that you are not wanted or to
feel that you're not wanted doesn't make
any difference whether it's based in
reality or if it's just in your
imagination if you feel that you're not
wanted especially if you feel that
somebody else is wanted more than you
the little girl who is prettier than you
who gets to sit on her father's knee or
the child who receives more attention
than you do when you are so longing for
attention when you get overlooked for
church leadership or when you feel that
you are not as valued or as important as
anybody else there is something on the
inside that says where can I go with
these feelings because the most primal
need of the human heart is to be needed
to be wanted and to be loved and where
that is denied whether an imagination or
in reality and it's often a combination
of the two anguish leads to anger and
anger leads to murder and you see it
throughout Scripture starts in the
opening chapters of Genesis Genesis
chapter 4 remember the story of Cain and
Abel Abel brought an offering to the
Lord and it was acceptable KN comes
along and he brings an offering to the
Lord the Lord says I don't want it not
good enough remember kaons reaction the
Bible says his countenance fell I think
he was extremely pained
because you see there's no greater
rejection than to experience it's bad
enough to experience rejection from
people but to experience rejection from
God is as bad as it gets because that's
what hell is understand that hell is
eternal rejection by God because you are
not worthy or fit to enter into his
kingdom and so what is can do God says
sin is crouching at the door it's a
desire is for you you must overcome it k
and doesn't want to and so what happens
but seed of rejection becomes the seed
of anger becomes the seed of murder and
you have in Scripture the first story of
what's the word fret aside you he killed
his brother because if there's no place
for me there's no place for you and that
he goes out and he builds himself up by
establishing his own Kingdom because of
God's not going to do it for me that I
gotta do it myself roll the clock
forward because this is a pattern in
Scripture now Ishmael is Abraham's
firstborn Isaac is the second one what
happens ishma L persecutes Isaac why
because this little runt is going to
take my place in the family and in the
family inheritance and that is a tough
spot to be and so issue mail gets sent
away because he's making life miserable
for Isaac an Isaac's mother is very
protective of her trial and this is a
pattern that you'll see throughout all
of Scripture I bet you if you're honest
with yourself this morning if I'm honest
with myself this morning that I know
none of us is immune to these dynamics I
noticed for example in my own life if
I'm not secure in my wok or relationship
with the Lord if I think where are you
how come you're not blessing me how come
life is so diff
x times and it's very easy to become
irritable very easy to become resentful
and it's very easy to become jealous of
other people for whom life seems so much
easier than it is for me in that
particular spot and I find if I'm not
very careful I become critical of other
people in ways that I ought not to
become critical because now it's about
me am I the only one that ever feels
that way I bet you I'm not it's part of
the human condition Isaac or Esau is
filled with anguish but his anguish
leads him to a state of anger and that
state of anger leads to potential murder
so much so that Rebecca who seems to
know everything that's going on in this
family here's the threat and so she
engineers for Jacob to go back to the
family where they came from up in
Mesopotamia to find a wife of their own
tribe as opposed to the wives of the
Hittites that he saw had married and
that's the third thing then that we're
going to end up with this morning and
that is this very interesting thing Esau
now tries hard to be good he tries hard
to be good and it has to do with his
business of marriage he had married to
hit tight women women from Canaan
remember those are Idol worshipers here
already you have an example of how he
rejected the notion of covenant he
wasn't interested in a godly wife he
wasn't interested in a wife who shared
the family's values in terms of serving
the Lord God Almighty the God of Abraham
and Isaac no he just married whoever he
wanted to marry and it wasn't good
enough to marry once we married too but
he tells us the two women made lives
theater for Rebecca and for Isaac talked
about in law issues two different values
living you know in the same compound is
going to lead to nothing but trouble now
what I find fascinating is I don't know
if he saw was clueless or if they just
didn't dare confront him about that it
wasn't until Rebecca goes to Isaac and
says I don't want Jacob to marry these
hit tied women I want him to go find a
wife back where I come from that it
finally dawns on him how angry and upset
his parents are about the choice of his
two wives so what is he did well the
story ends with these words in Genesis
28 8 to 9 then he saw realized how
displeasing the Canaanite women were to
his father Isaac so he went to Ishmael
and I married mahalo 'the the sister of
nuh nuh buyeth and daughter of ishmael
son of Abraham in addition to the wives
he already had when you miss out on the
blessing you spend the rest of your life
trying to find one and sometimes that
means trying to be good to earn the
blessings of a parent or the blessings
of significant people in your life the
tragedy of that is that it almost never
works because no matter how much you
give of yourself it's like it's never
good enough missing the blessing
produces anguish it produces anger it
leads to murder
and it sometimes also leads to a
resolution that says well how can I do
better how can I earn favor when
favorite cannot be earned I think that's
where we'll stop I've got a lot more
that I want to say about that I think in
another week ord willing next week we'll
come back to it and I want to leave you
with this question what are the places
in your life what do you do let me put
it this way what do you do some of you
here you have never significantly
received the blessing of an important
person in your life what do you do with
the feelings that I generates even more
importantly what do you do when you feel
that God doesn't want you that God
doesn't care that God has rejected you
because one of the big cries of people
who come through suffering in turmoil in
life is always the question where is God
when I hurt the most when I cry out and
the sky remains closed and my heart
remains uncomforted would you ponder
those questions and what did you join us
again next week as we continue to look
at what happens the lessons that we can
learn from the miss blessing of Isaac
some of you will be away you'll be in
holidays remember all these services are
online on our website and you can listen
either to the whole service or you can
listen to just the messages and you can
do that anywhere in the world stay with
the community over the summer and see
what God continues to do in our hearts
and lives
you