Absalom My Son My Son

SERMON: 2016-02-07--s1616--absalom-my-son-my-son SOURCE DURATION: 00:36:03.000 PROPOSED CUTS: 1 CONFIDENCE: 0.98 APPROVED: false REASON: The entire sequence of candidates constitutes the closing pastoral application and exhortation of the sermon (addressing personal issues and calling for concern for others). Since no non-sermon material is provided after candidate 15, this final segment must be selected as it represents the last piece of sermon content. ACOUSTIC EVIDENCE: available ACOUSTIC MUSIC INTERVALS: none ACOUSTIC SPEECH OVERLAP: no ACOUSTIC BOUNDARIES APPLIED: none Inline CUT markers identify each proposed audio boundary after the relevant word. --- ORIGINAL TRANSCRIPT WITH PROPOSED CUTS MARKED --- We've been looking together for some time now, as you will recall, at the life of David. And we know that David is called a man after God's own heart by God himself. And as we've seen in the past, the reason for that is not that he was so morally upright or so clean and pure, but rather because he not only understood but embraced passionately God's redemptive purposes for the people of Israel. David understood that when God entered into covenant with Abraham, he promised him a land. He promised him a mighty nation. He promised to bless him, and he promised to make him a blessing. And throughout his life and throughout his kingship, with rare exception, he applied himself wholeheartedly to that task of putting God first. The place where he wavered, I believe, is in connection with his family relationships, and none more so than his relationship with his son, Absalom. And we have recorded for us in 2 Samuel 1833 one of the most painful laments on the pages of Scripture. This is after David receives the report that his son Absalom has been killed, and the Scripture says he went to his room over the gateway and he wept. And as he went, he said, "Oh, my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom, if only I had died instead of you, oh, Absalom, my son." Let's take a moment, review the backstory, I'm sure you will recall that David, as did many of the kings in his days, of course had multiple wives, and when you have multiple wives you have multiple families. And one of the sons born to one of his wives was a very charismatic individual called Absalom, famous particularly for his wonderful head of hair. When he cut it periodically, it weighed five pounds. And as you might recall, hair, as we'll see later on, played a very significant part of the story. While Absalom must have had some good family genes because he had a sister called Tamar who was also exceptionally beautiful, they were fond of each other, but in the course of time there was another one of his half-brothers by the name of Amnon who took a shine to Tamar and by ruse invited her into his house where he proceeded to rape her. Then he was overcome by anger and guilt and threw her out of the house and her life was effectively ruined. David, when he heard the story, was absolutely furious, but there's no record that he actually ever did anything about it. Equally furious was Absalom, but he kept it within his heart looking for an opportunity to get even, that opportunity came two years later when he threw a party, invited all his half-brothers to the party, and when he saw an opportunity he had his henchmen assassinated Amnon. David was extremely upset and Absalom, as you can imagine, had to leave the country which he did for three years, but eventually David's anger began to die down and through the mediation of Joab, David's commander you will recall, Absalom was brought back, kept in isolation for another two years, but eventually was restored to our relationship with his father David, but Absalom was an ambitious man, he was a devious man, and he had his eye set on the throne of Israel, and so after winning the popularity of the people he mounted an armed rebellion you will recall, and in the course of that rebellion David and his men had to flee from Jerusalem like common criminals, and worried not for the fact that Absalom chose to ignore the counsel of Ahitophel who had counseled, "Pursue David while you can and you'll be able to wear him down." David would have lost the battle, would have lost his life, would have lost the kingdom, but the Lord turned Ahitophel's advice to foolishness, and in the battle that ensued between Absalom's troops and David's troops, Absalom's troops were desperately defeated, and as you know the story ends tragically and comically in some ways with Absalom fleeing on his donkey and his wonderful hair became his undoing, got caught up in a tree, and even though David had commended, pleaded that they would treat Absalom, his son, with gentleness, Joab was of no mind to do so, took three spears, stuck it through his heart, hit his men, cut him down from the tree, made sure he was dead, threw him under a bunch of rocks, and that was the end of Absalom and his rebellion. Messengers were then sent to David and the words of our text give us again the response of David, the king was shaken, he went up to the room over the gateway and he wept, and as he went he said, "Oh my son Absalom, my son Absalom, if only I had died instead of you, oh Absalom, my son." Tragic lament over the death of his son. Now there's a lot of people who think this is a marvelous example of a father grieving for his son, and grief he did, but there are two things about Absalom that we need to remember before we just attribute a good motivation to David in grieving for his son. Number one, Absalom was a rebellious son. He rebelled against his father and what did the law of Moses command in the Old Testament needed to happen to a rebellious son? You remember, you drag him to the elders, and when the elders find that he is indeed a rebel without a cause, then he gets stoned because God does not want rebellion among his people. Interesting little side note there, we're scandalized by that of course because we place so much emphasis on individual happiness and well-being, but from God's perspective at stake was the well-being of the kingdom, and just like a surgeon will not tolerate cancer because he knows it's going to kill the body, so Old Testament Israel under its laws had to get rid of whatever stood in the way of God getting what he wanted in terms of his people. He was not only a rebel against his father, however, but remember that he was also trying to unseat his father's throne and so he was equally a rebel against God. God just in case you've never caught on, not very happy with rebels. These words apply to King Saul earlier in 1 Samuel chapter 15, "Rebellion is like the sin of divination or witchcraft in some versions, and arrogance like the evil of idolatry." Absalom wasn't interested in the kingdom of God, wasn't interested in seeing the promises of God made to Abraham fulfilled, wasn't interested in seeing God establish his people, it was all about Absalom, and I can say that without any hesitation because 2 Samuel 18 verse 18 tells us that he built a pillar to himself so that his name would not be forgotten, shades of King Saul before him, and so while it's perfectly natural, then that David should grieve over the loss of his son, the reality is that Absalom stood over against the purposes of God and David should have stood with God and with the purposes of God over against his rebellious son. And interestingly enough, it is Joab who is not known for his great spirituality who gets it right because when Joab comes back and he hears that the king was weeping and mourning for Absalom, this is chapter 19, "And for the whole army the victory of the day was turned into mourning because on that day the troops heard it said the king is grieving for his son. The men stole into the city that day as men steal in who are ashamed when they flee from battle. The king covered his face and cried aloud, 'O my son Absalom, O Absalom my son, my son.'" Now listen to how the story plays out that Joab went into the house of the king and said, "Today you have humiliated all your men who have just saved your life and the lives of your sons and daughters and the lives of your wives and concubines. You love those who hate you and hate those who love you. You have made it clear today that the commanders and their men mean nothing to you. I see that you would have been pleased if Absalom were alive today and all of us were dead. Now go out and encourage your men. I swear by the Lord that if you don't go out, not a man will be left with you by nightfall. This will be worse for you than all the calamities that have come upon you from your youth till now." Joab got through to him because verse 8 says, "The king got up, took a seat in the gateway, and when the men were told the king is sitting in the gateway, they all came before him." Quite a story, don't you think? So what do we learn from a story like this? I suggest at least three lessons. Number one, sometimes the greatest challenge to our faith comes from those who are closest to us. Sometimes the greatest challenge to our faith comes from those who are closest to us. Jesus, when he teaches on discipleship, he quotes the Old Testament prophet Micah, and he says a man's enemies will be the members of his own household. The reason for that is not hard to figure out because all relationships, but especially family relationships, are an interesting tangled web of loyalty and expectation and demand. Husbands and wives, friends, family members, how do relationships survive? Well, they survive on give and take. You have a certain opinion. You expect me to bow to that opinion. You want to do certain things. You want me to go along with those things, at least periodically and vice versa. Relationships are mutually interdependent. They go back and forth. But what happens when what my closest relative is looking for from me is at odds with what God is looking for from me? That's where the conflict begins to happen. Somebody was telling me just this past week about a relative, a church-going relative whose daughter, previously presumably a church-going daughter, is slated to marry an atheist. And the mother is in favor of the union because he's such a nice boy. And you say to yourself, "Isn't somebody missing something here in terms of what it is to be a disciple of Jesus?" You see, whenever there is a conflict of loyalties, the Lord is looking, and we'll talk more about that in a moment, He's looking at our loyalty exceeding all other loyalties, and sometimes the greatest enemy is those who are closest to us because we bend to accommodate their wishes and their desires. And that is, of course, why Scripture places such a very important emphasis on not being unequally yoked. And the image is that of two animals pulling a load together, and you have, let's say, an ox over here, and you have a horse over here, and you're trying to make these walk in tandem with each other pulling the load. It'll never work because they go off in different directions, and that's true in marriage. That's true in friendship. That's true in business. That is true in virtually every imaginable relationship. Can two walk together, says Scripture, unless they be agreed? And the only reason that it often seems to work for people who are church-going folk is because either the unbeliever swings over to the believer's side, or more commonly, what ends up happening is the Christian ends up compromising his or her values in order to preserve peace and tranquility in the relationship. Sometimes the greatest challenge to our faith are those who are closest to us. Second lesson, and I've alluded to that already, but a very important one, is that the Lord demands to be our first priority in all relationships. The Lord demands that our relationship with him supersedes any and all other relationships. Listen to how Paul puts it. Second Corinthians chapter 11, he says, "I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to the one husband to Christ so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him, but I'm afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent's cunning, your minds may somehow be led away or let astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ." And what Paul is saying there is that just as a bride gives up all other relationships to belong to her husband and to him alone and vice versa, so to be a Christian is to have our ultimate single devotion and loyalty to Jesus himself. And every other relationship must take a second place to the calling of God on our lives. Jesus puts it this way, Luke chapter 14, I'm sure you know this passage. He says, "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and his mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters, yes, even his own life, he cannot be my disciple." Now that's strong language. And of course he doesn't mean that we literally have to hate father and mother and brother and sister. That's quite contrary to what the rest of scripture teaches. But what he does mean is that we have to hate any demand that anyone makes on us if that is at odds with God's demands on our lives. We must care more about what God values and what he thinks than we do about our closest relationship. Now think that through because I can tell you I've known all kinds of people over the years who have lost their first love for Jesus because their wife or their husband or their sons or their daughters were not prepared to submit to the authority and the lordship of Jesus. I can think of two examples of this principle in scripture that are really remarkable and the first is the story of the Levites in Exodus chapter 32. Perhaps you'll remember that story. Moses was up in the mountains and he didn't come back in any big hurry. He was gone for what, 40 days? And the people got restless and they said to Aaron, "We want you to make us a god." And he bent to their wishes, as you know, and as he explains it later on to Moses, and I love his explanation, "We threw the gold into the fire and out came this calf." It was really just a very, very remarkable fire. But you'll recall that Moses was incensed because at Sinai they had just entered into covenant with God. This is like the girl who on her honeymoon felt, this is a true story, fell in love with another guy, left her bridegroom to take off with this guy and when she was confronted by it she said, "Sometimes you just have to do what your heart wants to do." Which was quite a little explanation. This is what Israel is doing and Moses knows that they are running the risk of God's judgment. So what does he do? He says, "Anybody out here who is on the Lord's side, step forward." And you may recall that the sons of Levi to a man stepped forward and then he said, "Alright. Here's what I want you to do. I want you to take your sword, each man strap a sword to his side, go back and forth through the camp from one end to another, each killing his brother and friend and neighbor." Imagine that. How do you feel about that? The Levi's did as Moses commanded and that day about 3,000 of the people died and then Moses said, "You have been set apart to the Lord today for you are against your own sons and brothers and he has blessed you this day." Jesus said, "Unless you hate father and mother and brother and sister, you cannot be my disciple." And if you know the story, then that is how the Levi's came to be the priestly assistants at the tabernacle. They never received an inheritance in the land because they were totally dedicated to the service of God because of their loyalty. Another example, this one from the New Testament, the wedding at Cana. You know that story? John's Gospel tells us it's the first sign that Jesus did when he changed the water into wine and the background there is that as they were running out of wine, his mother comes to him and says to him, "They're running out of wine," and who remembers the response of Jesus? Well, the NIV says, "Dear woman, why do you involve me?" Jesus replied, "My time has not yet come." Now, I've looked more closely to that in the Greek and it's not half as charitable as the NIV translation makes that sound. First of all, there is no dear to the woman. I don't quite understand. Somebody must have wanted to tone that down. Then he says, and literally he says this, "What does this have to do with you and me? What does this have to do with you and me?" And what's his point? Well, here's his point. He was no longer mama's boy and he was no longer under the control of his mom while meaning though she might be. He now was committed to his mission and his priority was to listen to his father's instruction. His time had not yet come. Now his mother quite clearly took it in stride and told everybody, "Make sure you listen to him." But the point that is established is this. We cannot serve two masters. We must put God's authority and God's will for our lives ahead of the dearest relationship that we have, which again is why it's so important to be equally yoked because if you are unequally yoked you will fight every step of the way. You'll want to go to church. Your spouse will want to stay home. You want your kids to go to Sunday school or Christian education and your husband wants to buy them snowmobiles or the other way around. It just goes on and on and on and you see the tragedy of that every which way you look. Some of you have heard my story in this regard when I was at my last year in college and we ran into this whole group of Latter-day Saints, reorganized Latter-day Saints, who had a lot of the spiritual gifts and the spiritual vitality that my friends and I were looking for at that time, but they were also adherents to the Book of Mormon and another book called Doctrine and Covenants. And in our conversations with them they kept on telling us that we had to just ask the Lord, because that's what Mormons do, ask him to give you a witness in your heart about the truth of Mormonism. And as some of you know that started me off in a whole study of comparative religion and ultimately ended up with me being in what I call the dark night of the soul where my faith almost completely went out of the window for a season. But in the middle of that I remember thinking, you know, I've committed myself to following the Lord. What if Mormonism is true? What if this is where God is leading me in my future? And you know what my big question was? What will my father think? Because my father in his youth had been, really had a leaning towards being a pastor, never had the opportunity, I'll tell you the story before, my mother had wanted to be a physician, never had the opportunity, skip a generation, my younger brother becomes a physician and I end up becoming a pastor, not because of pressure put on us, but I think because the anointing passed from one generation to another. But I remember struggling with that whole question. If this is where I'm going at this stage in my life, what in the world is he going to think or what is he going to say? And I remember having to come to that place where I said, "Though none go with me, still I will follow." Now thank God, you know, that wasn't the path that I was led on, but I didn't know that at the time and I had to authentically struggle with that. And if you've ever been in a place where you have incurred the disapproval or the wrath or the dislike of those you love and who are close to you, you will know the price that you need to pay in order to follow Jesus. And remember he says, "You cannot be my disciple if you're not prepared to make that commitment." We list this up here as sort of the epitome of spiritual maturity and you know, only some of us make it. Well, I hate to tell you this, but Jesus starts with it. It's like the ground floor of what it is to follow Jesus. Aren't you glad you came tonight and, you know, have such good news preached to you? Well, there's a third lesson. First lesson is sometimes, you know, those closest to you are your biggest obstacle to faith. Number two, Jesus claims the ultimate priority of our hearts. He will not settle for second best. There's a third lesson and that is that we need to think in terms of eternal destinies. There's a school of thought that believes that David was so upset in this passage because he knew that his son was lost eternally. And that may or may not be true. I say may or may not because the Old Testament saints didn't have much understanding about the life that is to come. That's a revelation that comes historically as time goes on. There are some allusions to it here and there in the Old Testament. David in Psalm 16 talks about his body not seeing corruption and the New Testament uses that to demonstrate that that refers to Jesus. Daniel talks about eternal life, but very, very few references. That said, from a New Testament point of view, we know that unless a person is justified by faith in Christ, they will not enter the kingdom of God. Scripture is categorically clear on that. Matthew 25, 41 talks about the sheep and the goats being gathered before the Lord on that final day of judgment. And Jesus quotes the judges saying, "He will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.'" The equivalent is he will say to those on his right, "Come, blessed of my father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from before the foundation of the world." When history ends, you're either in or you're out. There is nothing in between. The book of Revelation makes it very clear as well, Revelation 20, 15, "If anyone's name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire." Now what that means with regard to what we're talking about is that no matter how much we love somebody, whether that's a spouse, son, or a daughter, a friend, or a neighbor, much as we live in a day and age where everybody thinks they're going to go to heaven if there is a heaven. I mean, that is the most odd thing to me in all of the world. Most people don't believe in heaven, but if there is a heaven, they know they and their loved ones are going there. The reality of scripture is otherwise. The reality of scripture is that unless we yield to the authority of Jesus, believe in him and demonstrate the reality of that in a life of repentance and faith, we're just not going to make that. We're not going to make that. That really hits home if you have a son or a daughter like David in this story, a spouse, a relative, a friend who continues to walk in rebellion against God and who, if he or she persists in that period of rebellion, is going to end up in the lake of fire rather than in the restored kingdom. The only reason we are not more exercised over people in that condition is because we don't love them enough with a love of God to confront them with the truth. Because again, the reality is we live in a world where we just put that all on hold and assume that one way or another, well, every prodigal will find their way back. Many do, but not all do. If you and I understand this story and understand the issues that we've been talking about, then at the very least, we must carry the prodigals in our hearts. The very least, we must pray for God to have mercy and bring people back to faith. And we must do what we can do to warn them about the path of destruction that they're on. David had a soft spot for his children. And I would guess that it comes from his own unresolved family issues. He lost moral authority and he was not able to come down hard on Absalom when he should have because he knew there was too much in his own background that got in the way. You will recall that the prophet said to him after his affair with Bathsheba, "A sword will not leave your house," and this is the fulfillment of those decisions that he made. Chad Hoeven talked about that in passing this morning. So two things to end with. Number one, how urgently important it is for you and me to deal with our stuff so that we can speak from a position of authority rather than having to cower because somebody's got something on us and we don't know how to stand up because we have lost the moral high ground. But then secondly, how urgent, how urgent that we have a heart for sons and daughters, for family and friends, for neighbors who don't know Jesus, and how we cry out for God [PROPOSED CUT 1 START at 00:35:56.460; remove through 00:36:03.000] to bring them all back home. [CUT] [CUT] [PROPOSED CUT 1 END at 00:36:03.000; resume after this marked segment]